Top Ten Ways Not to Start a Report
1. Hear ye, hear ye:
2. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
3. What it do players? Here’s the deal:
4. From the desk of the world’s greatest cop
5. Four score and seven years ago…
6. Will whoever took my red stapler please return it ASAP.
7. Dear Mom:
8. I was pretty wasted, so don’t put too much stock in the details of the following incident report.
9. He ran, I chased…yadda, yadda, yadda…
10. There once was a perp from Nantucket.
Courtesy of American Police Beat